Breastfeeding...not just a choice!

I had the possibility to raise my 3 children while giving them the best there is.

"Breastfeeding" is what this story is all about!

As a young woman I wanted to raise my children in a natural way, it was based on an inner feeling that children don't belong in their own bedroom as a baby. It didn't feel right. I had to fight many idea's with my family and friends when I started motherhood. Following my intuition was a fight with my environment. It wasn't a simple path but till now, I educate people in a more holistic way of living since I listened to that voice so many years ago. Even though both of my children are now in their twenties and the consciousness about breastfeeding is bigger than ever. The world changed a lot between my second and third child.

I feel obligated to inform other mothers of the choices they have! I couldn't always choose throughout the years of my parenthood. I had to look for solutions and muddle a lot, it was a constant trail and error, mostly because a lot of information was not available. Even with an aging body and struggling with the auto-immune disorder MCS * (* multiple chemical syndrome), breastfeeding was just not always the easiest choice ... but always the BEST choice!

I have been a mother 3 times in 23 years, it is interesting to experience the changes through these years. When I first became a mother 23 years ago on my 20th birthday, I was not inexperienced in motherhood, because I raised my sisters and brothers already from a young age. But natural, intuitive parenting was something new. Midwives were only known in hospitals as assistants, but self-employed midwives were rather rare, and home deliveries were exceptional. I always dreamed of doing a home birth, but because I did not know where to find a self-employed midwife at the age of 20, I opted for poly-clinical delivery and talked this through with my gynecologist. This man, knowing well what I wanted and how important that was to me, literally made my whole experience hell. He interfered with his way of thinking in such a deep way, that it disrupted my entire intuition and I had to be rushed in for a cesarean section. The next day that man had the guts to "laugh with me" and played the hero in my birth story. From that moment on I got PTSD for doctors and hospitals. In my opinion, they do not have your health as a priority but their pharmaceutical products are their first attention.

The Caesarean section had as a result that my baby was "born" before her time. The only thing she did was sleep, not react to anything in her environment. Lying in her little crib, not knowing where she was. She didn't want any food, and in no way did she want to drink, when we tried to. Every day I had to hear from midwives that I did it wrong, that my breast was too big, that I suffocated her little head, and so on. It was a real self-esteem boost ;). After a few days, she drank the sugar water that the nurses kept on forcing her to.

Back home, after many frustrations I started working with a breast pump, hoping that my eldest daughter would still take the breast ... I kept doing double work for 5 months, by pumping and then feeding her this milk in a bottle. After 5 months, my body just gave up and didn't want to give milk anymore. This experience had completely eroded me, I was tired, cranky, and totally empty, I later think I had a post-depression. Until my daughter was 1.5 years I slept every time she slept, housekeeping, my job ... everything suffered, I did not even know if I still wanted children!!!

When my eldest daughter was 2.3 years old, I was unexpectedly pregnant again ... the fear of a new pregnancy was so deep, that it turned out I was over 6 months, without knowing! Every visit to a gynecologist, after I had felt the baby's feet kicking ... shortened the approaching birth with 14 days extra ... After and visit to a 3D echo at the UZ in Antwerp was the result: "It's a girl" and you are already "six months" far.

The fear hit me, I really did not want to experience a new Caesarean section again, it felt as a trauma. Soon I started my search for an independent midwives online, followed by a conversation with a midwife in Kapellen. After she heard that I had a cesarean section, she refused to help with a home birth, to big of a risk she said. There could be a rupture, I could have a massive bleeding, the scar tissue could not be healed after all these years. I got in a panic and threatened her that I rather would choose for a free birth, in the comfort of my own home and even die than going to a hospital and experience this horror again. Then, she saw my sincere fear of hospital abuse and how traumatic the idea of a new delivery in the clinic was to me. She sent me to Anne Daneels in Zwijndrecht.

Anne, gave me a kind of alternative witch vibes :-), (something that made me feel completely at home) she had a very different style of working. She was quiet, resolute, enlightening and stable. Characteristics that enormously increase my confidence in myself ... For her, breastfeeding was indisputable and she would protect my interests as a mother at all times. A backup plan was even drawn, in which a second Caesarean section was not ruled out but was kept at a special gynecologist who put the baby during the operation on your belly and let her drink. Thereby the bond with the child was guaranteed and breastfeeding was not made impossible.

My 2nd pregnancy went very well, except of serious pelvic instability. I had a crazy advantage that; because they did not know when I had become pregnant, the dew date wasn't known, so I had more room to go over time. In October 2001 my 2nd daughter was born ... just at home, in the bath at 30min. time ... Quiet, calm without complications in all serenity.

Then I started, breastfeeding in the way it was predestined. The first weeks were a struggle, a baby that did not always latch on, a troubled drinker, a lot of stomach cramps ... Still, you learn by doing it and Anne was a good teacher. She was consistent but logical and after 5 days my 2nd daughter started to recover and she grew up steadily. She was so fond of breastfeeding and I found it sooooooo easy ... that she had her first 1.5 yrs. nothing else than mother milk ... She had been breastfeeding for 3 years and was an alert, calm, and easy-going baby. She was known in our circle of acquaintances as "the little buddha" :-).

The benefits of breastfeeding were clear to me from day one. Faster recovery, deeper bond with your baby, all in one formula for all ailments, aches, and pains. On top of that ... after 2-3 months they drink by themselves at night so you can sleep during the night and are a much less stressful mama. Depressions, relationship problems, frustrations, irritating babies ... I never experienced breastfeeding. Giving breastfeeding was just the most logical way and did not cause the chronic fatigue that I experienced after my first baby.

After my second daughter, we tried for fifteen years to get pregnant again, but that did not happen. Acupuncture, and investigations, nothing helped, the cause was not found but a solution either. In those 15 years, I regularly had a miscarriage or very early breakdown of the pregnancies ... the reason for this was also vague.

As a homeopath, I continued my search, why was my body not working? Eventually, I found the right information. MCS brought such a dis-balance that I seemed to be in pre-menopause at my 36 years old. A too-high level of estrogens caused continuous miscarriages but also symptoms of pre-menopause. Since MCS is a quite new disorder, the consequences on pregnancy and health in a woman are still unknown. Once I knew what the reason was, I started studying possible treatments through dietary supplements and herbs. This caused me to find red Maca and started experimenting with it. I had to take Maca for less than a month to find out that I was pregnant with my 3rd child. It worked and that on that short notice!

At that moment I was 30kg heavier than in my 2nd pregnancy, this caused that I had to compete with my gynecologist about the convictions that heavier people have to go through. That I lived an energetic life and ate healthy, did not apply to her at all. Her beliefs were the only ones that applied. She quickly asked me how I wanted to give birth and when she heard that I would choose again for a home birth, she became mad and got all the colors of the rainbow in her face. I tried to make it clear to her several times that I had only 30 minutes to give birth during my 2nd delivery and that my midwife thought that this time could go even faster ... She had no ears for what I was saying. She went so far that she wrote a letter to my midwife in which she dared to claim that if I had a home birth my baby would die because of my obesity (thank you!).

I took my dose of Maca for the whole pregnancy, as I understood in my research that using it during the entire pregnancy, would hold your hormones in balance. The result was amazing! Many friends of the same age around me, who were also expecting a newborn, were suffering from depression, pregnancy problems, pains, pelvic instability, etc ... I had NOTHING, I lost (up to 11kg during my pregnancy) and did not feel like special cravings, stopped snacks, was not emotional .... It was an incredibly beautiful pregnancy!

Around the 28th week, I briefly had symptoms of premature birth, a visit to my kinesiologist, repaired the flaw in my immune system (also caused by MCS), and the complaints were as quickly gone as they had come. When I was 38 weeks away I gave birth to my 3rd daughter, this time in 15 minutes. The delivery itself was hectic and very bizarre, no midwife was available, no replacement midwife, and an attempt to drive to the hospital, failed because of too far in giving birth. In the end, Anne was just in time ... after delaying the delivery till she showed up. The birth went perfectly.

Breastfeeding the third time ... My husband, who had not seen babies grow up, was a bit nervous about the idea of breastfeeding for a long time and the fact that the baby would sleep in bed with us. He did not know what to expect and was afraid that he would lie on top of the baby. Yet, now 5 months later, he is fully promoting our choices to pregnant friends and family around us. In the meantime, he has become so convinced that Mother Nature knows what is good for us ... that he can't understand the OLD ways of parenting that still are so accepted.

This time, breastfeeding did not go smoothly at all. The milk did not start, an old injury disturbed my entire hormone balance, so seriously that MACA could not get me out of this. A month after my birth, a genetic fault was found, I had factor V Leiden, which caused thromboses in my deeper veins, because of the hormonal switch that happens between being pregnant and giving birth. The treatment has a lot of side effects and gave me diabetic symptoms. After 2 weeks breastfeeding, where my baby daughter continued to lose weight, we had to do something. Soon we understood that she did not get enough milk, because she was tired of trying and to small. Eventually we got the amount of breastfeeding up and she got better. Yet after a month I decided to give myself more rest and gave her one bottle of formula in order not to wrestle all the time and put not so much stress on my body. I had a lot of problems with accepting this and cried my eyes out. So it was not easy or obvious, this time.

I think many mothers would have given up already but after my baby drank by herself after 2.5 months and I did not have to wake up at night, I was glad that I had continued breastfeeding. In the beginning, we struggled to raise our third child with breastfeeding, we ended up giving her a base of breastfeeding and one bottle of goat milk a day. After she became 6 months she had one solid meal a day and I could give her all the rest of the meals just breastfeeding. But fortunately, even with the hormone problems I could still breastfeed and give her the most important feedings in what nature intended. The night feedings gave me rest and stability. Because of this, I was not cranky, not tired, and a fit, happy mommy. And I stay by my belief that breastfeeding has instant nutrition and is the easiest way when you are traveling parents!

I remember the moment when I discovered that I had to take medicine during the whole breastfeeding time to avoid new thromboses. I was devastated, I even didn't know if I could give a long time breastfeeding this way, I was so worried. I can tell you now almost 7 years later, that I gave my third daughter 5.5 years of breastfeeding, she had to stop because her adult teeth came in and she lost her reflexes. She dissuaded to stop, what always our way of raising would be. I want to bring you some insight into my experience! If you have an auto-immuundisease it WILL have an effect on getting pregnant, keep this in account! But also giving breastfeeding is something you need to learn. You and your child are a team, you need to get to know each other. Also, good support and educated, experienced people around you are necessary. Find a midwife that is a breastfeeding coach.

So breastfeeding is probably never the easiest choice but in many cases, the BEST choice and not only for your baby but also for yourself!